Beach party
Take a peek into North Korea’s coastal escape.
22 January 2025
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Move over Ibiza, shuffle aside Bali, Wonsan, North Korea, is ready to become the newest hotspot for your bucket list! With the grand opening of the Wonsan-Kalma Resort just around the corner, Dear Leader Kim Jong Un has declared it a “coastal wonderland”. And who are we to argue?
If you’ve ever wanted to pair revolutionary zeal with a seaside staycation, here are five quirky reasons to pack your bags and say Annyeonghaseyo to North Korea!
1. A Beachfront Resort… Built on a Former Missile Testing Site
Why relax on a generic beach when you could sunbathe where ballistic missiles once launched? The Wonsan-Kalma Resort boasts 5 km of pristine white sands, now repurposed for leisure instead of… well, you know. Described as “Benidorm (Spanish resort area) but under one owner,” this resort comes with hundreds of hotels, restaurants, and even an aquarium. Just don’t stray too far—government minders might not approve of an impromptu sandcastle competition in a “restricted area.”
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2. Approved Hairstyles to Help You Blend In
Forget bad hair days—North Korea’s 10–15 approved hairstyles for men and 15–18 for women ensure every tourist leaves looking like a model of socialist chic. Men can choose from classics like the “Buzz Cut” or the “Conservative Side Part,” while women can rock a “Permed Curl” or a “Traditional Bun.” Who needs freedom of expression when your hair screams, “I respect order and unity”?
3. A Culinary Adventure Minus the Garlic Overload
North Korean cuisine is refreshingly mild, perfect for those who want to enjoy their meal without a garlic-fuelled aftershock. Dive into Pyongyang Naengmyeon, cold buckwheat noodles so iconic they could host their own cooking show. Or munch on Bindaetteok, crispy mung bean pancakes that are as satisfying as they are hard to pronounce. And don’t forget Insamju, ginseng-infused liquor that promises to make you feel like a revolutionary hero or at least tipsy enough to think so.
4. Propaganda Posters: The Ultimate Conversation Starter
Move over Eiffel Tower snow globes, North Korea offers propaganda posters that are as bold as they are collectible. Imagine the envy of your friends when they see your hand-painted art of Kim Jong Un pointing stoically toward… something inspiring. Pair it with a biography of Kim Il-sung for bedtime reading that’s as riveting as it is, well, state-sanctioned.
5. Surfing the Socialist Swells
Yes, you can surf in North Korea! The East Sea offers surprisingly good waves, especially during typhoon season. While there aren’t any surf shops (you’ll need to BYO board), the thrill of catching a wave under the watchful eye of a government minder is worth the logistical gymnastics. It’s an extreme sport meets extreme oversight combo you’ll never forget.
Bonus: Where Else Can You Drink Makkoli in a Politburo Tent?
If lounging in an air-conditioned beachside tent that doubles as a policy meeting room isn’t on your bucket list, it should be. The Wonsan-Kalma resort comes with the promise of amusement parks, leisure zones, and even sewage treatment upgrades. It’s a blend of utopian vision and practical infrastructure, ideal for anyone who likes their vacations with a side of “epochal development.”
The Verdict: Wonsan or Bust?
Yes, North Korea isn’t your typical tourist destination, and yes, you’ll probably be chaperoned from breakfast to bedtime. But with a mix of kitschy charm, untapped natural beauty, and quirky cultural quirks, Wonsan might just be the most unusual (and Instagrammable!) trip you’ll ever take. Just don’t forget your sense of humour, or your willingness to embrace the unexpected.
So, who’s ready to toast Totalitarianism with a glass of corn tea?
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